Let's start off with the well-established missing hyphen. Apply generously to join the bold-faced word pairs in grammatical bliss:
- "The Commander gives the go ahead and two officers"
- "and several wall mounted gun turrets swivel"
- "some sort of check in desk."
- "and find an ancient looking terminal"
- "In the time honored tradition"
Each boldened word is missing an apostrophe before the final s:
- "This feels like something, lets see"
- "a very generous finders fee for your help"
- "that your finders fee has been received."
The boldened word has an apostrophe where none should be:
- "It's strange, squat form is very solid"
Plain old typos
- "We're got injured here" (should be We've instead)
- "After awhile, he replies." (should be a while)
Minor logical gripe
- "and after a parsec or twelve's worth of research"
I know this is most lilkely a reference to the Millennium Falcon doing the Kessel Run and the involved scientific blunder. But it is out of character for the scientist saying it, who surely is aware that parsec measures distance and not time. (Unless he, unbeknownst to us, moonlights as a historical screenplay writer.)