Quantum Spanner (Local Shuttles): "...a strange looking man, trying not to look strange..." ("strange-looking" should be hyphenated)
Quantum: "You'll be compensated very well [name]." (missing comma)
Quantum: "...the tales said that it was planning on usingthe tech as collateral..." (missing space)
Quantum: "...and indicates you both move away from the crowd." (missing "should" or something like that)
Quantum: "Don't me wrong..." (missing "get")
Quantum: "Hacktivist's extraordinaire!" (no apostrophe)
GOETIA – CARACAL ELITE (NO PRONOUNS PLEASE!) (On Goetia's home station, House of Congo, Goetia's name appears in normal Title Case: "Goetia – Caracal Elite (No Pronouns Please!)")
Goetia (Government Center): "Classic neuroip..." (missing T: it's "neurotip" elsewhere, which makes more sense since it's short for "neurotypical")
Selena J'tarkissed (Docks): "That absotivly was not me!" (should be "absotively," just like "positively")
University: "...winding through throngs of students or faculty alike." (should be "and")
Ruins: "...the rubble of the once great city..." ("once-great" should be hyphenated)
Ruins: "...to stifle back the sardonic remark on the tip of your lips." (should be either just "stifle" or something like "bite back/hold back/keep back/choke back/etc."; should be either "the tip of your tongue" or just "your lips")
Ruins: "...to some long forgotten, underground, facility." ("long-forgotten" should be hyphenated; no comma between "underground" and "facility")
Ruins: "The harangued looking woman..." ("harangued-looking" should be hyphenated)
Ruins: "...her response is almost absent minded..." ("absent-minded" should be hyphenated)
Ruins: "...Quantum speaks in a matter of fact tone." ("matter-of-fact" should be hyphenated)
Ruins: "I thought it was done, over, But my superiors, they saw..." (should be a period, not a comma)
Ruins: "It was being field tested..." ("field-tested" should be hyphenated)
REGIONAL DIFFERENCES because I think you once said you prefer U.S. spellings:
Goetia (Gov't Center): "...no offence." ("offense" with an S in the U.S.)
Ruins: "The little drone starts moving off, travelling down the steep angle of..." ("traveling" with one L in the U.S.)
CONCEPTUAL DISCREPANCIES:
Quantum Spanner (Local Shuttles): "...having an increasingly irate conversation on their CORETECHS." (Quantum is referred to as "he" and "him" throughout the rest of the mission)
Quantum: "She was meant to be here three shuttles ago..." conflicts with Quantum: "She was meant to be on this last shuttle, right?"
Goetia (Gov't Center):
- "Goetia shakes their head wryly..."
- "Goetia waves a hand in front of their face, manipulating some UI on their CORETECHS. Eventually they continue."
- "Goetia's projection shrugs and shakes her head."
No pronouns please! Especially no inconsistent pronouns!
Quantum (Gov't Center): "Her potential location has grown infinitely more finite..." A bit much even for a mad scientist.
Selena J'tarkissed: "Understanding that she seems to need to remain undercover from her previous identity for the moment..." C'mon, this is at least her third different identity. Some "unhackable" CORETECHS! :-D
Ruins: "This basically amounts to espionage and even treason." Treason is betraying one's own country; Minerva's a Consy.
Me (throughout): Some speeches appear within quotation marks, some without.
Re: TYPOS: Seeking the Sanguine Samhain [*SPOILERS*] by StarGazer at 214.04/37:527 GCT
Thanks, Shadow!
I'll inform our narrative dream team and share your findings as usual :)