The Crane’s Critique: H.A.C.K 3.5″

Salutations salubrious listeners! Your main brain, Frasier the Crane, comes at you across the ever so slightly less than legitimate Freebooter airwaves once again!

Now, I once recall seeing a man enter battle with shoddy armor. I recall pontificating later that there were cheeses on ancient Earth that had less holes than this gentleman’s body.

It may be an unwise man who doesn’t learn from his own mistakes, but it’s an absolute idiot that doesn’t learn from other people’s! To that end, today we review a fairly sturdy garment of protection indeed!

Let us pay homage to the hardy H.A.C.K 3.5 that hails from the House of Syria!

This magnificent looking piece of equipment is a true fashion wonder, no less for its many and varied capabilities! H.A.C.K, I am told, stands for Haptic Armor, CyberKinetics. Now, while I feel the nomenclature is reaching a tad farther than the writer’s creativity can stretch to fill this acronym, I do understand it is apt indeed.

The piece of armor, while employing some particularly sophisticated nano-fabrics that channel energy away from its keepers most vital organs, organs that tend to be quite vulnerable to such bugaboos as electricity or plasma, is also woven in such a fashion as to dissuade all but the hardiest of piercing weaponry.

Along with its protective properties however, this gorgeous garment also serves to enhance haptic feedback that can be relayed back through one’s CORETECHS or even an external OmReAthletic Headpiece.

Indeed, this tough little tunic is considered one of the top-of-the line fashion accessories for the nouveau-OmReAthlete. Old school aficionados, of course, may look down on it as too ‘new age’ but, once they slip into its luxurious lining and feel the Omni Reality pouring over ever pore, so to speak, may quickly change their minds!