Hemingway’s Has It! – Welcome to this latest installment of Galactic Destinations. Your news source for editorial content about our universe, stations to explore, and the marvels of travel. Impartial, relevant, and always independent, sponsored by, eh… Hemingway’s Megamporium: the Shopping Star in Your Constellation.
Editor’s Note: we apologize for the hijacking of our content by the Hemingway Corporation. Unfortunately, we were unable to read the fine print in our contract with them granting us an exclusive. We would like to warn anyone reading beyond this point that they are automatically accepting all the terms and conditions set out by INTREPID (Hemingway’s Intergalactic Retail Privilege Division).
Thank you! Thank you! A big round of applause for the Galactic Destinations editorial staff.
I’m Maverick Johns, and I’m honored to be hosting this article, and telling you all at home, about the wonder that is: Hemingway’s Megamporium, in beautiful, sunny Ross 248. Exclusively Hemingway’s, throughout the station -all the time. Other corporations can huddle together on the cramped and overrated Jump Gate, because Hemingway’s Megamporium is ALL Hemingway’s! ALL the time!
Have we got the scoop for you! Upgrade here to receive up to the minute scoops: only an extra 50 credits per scoop.
Where You Come From Is Where You’re Going! Hemingway’s Megamporium! (Don’t think too hard about that one.)
In the market for the most ridiculously expensive, outlandish, unjustifiably unnecessary, useless items imaginable? Well, imagine no more: Hemingway’s has it!
That’s right. Jump on over to Ross 248 and get what you deserve!
No flashy sales gimmicks, no intricate marketing campaign’s -at Hemingway’s buy what you want. Buy what you believe in. Buy what makes you, you. At Hemingway’s it’s your way! Your way and no other way. There’s nowhere else to go when you go where you want! (Again, don’t think too hard about it). At Hemingway’s we put the “U” in buy! Only you can do you the way you know you. It’s you! You! You! You!
A station built for freedom and self-expression. Show yourself who you really are with a self guided shopping experience! That’s right: you get to sell yourself stuff. No pushy salespeople, no hassles, no judgment. Craft your own ad campaigns curtailed to your needy, over-indulgent self!
Are you the sort of person who has everything? Then Hemingway’s Megamporium has people for you! What’s that you say? That makes no sense? If you have everything then start taking from everyone else! That’s right. Be the person who has everyone else’s everything.
Have you accomplished everything you ever dreamed of? No worries! Buy someone else’s dreams. That’s right. Here at Hemimngway’s we’ve got other people’s aspirations, hopes, dreams- even their wishes! That’s right! Hemingway’s has it!
Someone else’s soul? Half off? Hemingway’s has it!
Virtually any virtual reality? Hemingway’s has it!
Weaponry that would make HWT blush? Hemingway’s has it!
Personality swaps, upgrades and augmented ego boosts? Hemingway’s has it!
Spacecraft, speed-shuttles and star-skippers … all gold plated? Hemingway’s has it!
Shoes to go with any drug overdose? (premium clone with matching shoes included)
That’s right… say it with me: Hemingway’s has it!